Article On Coping With Disappointment

Disappointments in life an inevitable, whether they are your own expectations or someone else's expectation that you some how didn't quite meet. The easiest way to not be disappointed is not have expectations but that would be unrealistic.  Below is an article in coping with disappointment. If you'd like you can go directly to this article on the Spirituality and Practice website by using this link: http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/features.php?id=18055

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Coping with Disappointment

By Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat

Springtime arrives, and many of us begin to feel more buoyant. It's time to do a little cleaning and clearing out. It's time for a walk in the park to admire the blossoms on the trees. It's time to count our blessings now that the foul weather of winter is over. Or maybe not.

A change of season also can be disappointing. It focuses our attention on what hasn't changed in our lives and what we have endured over the previous months. Perhaps we've suffered a setback, experienced a rejection, or had our hopes and dreams dashed. We may be disappointed in a relationship, our work, or our family life. Some people have a talent for bouncing back from difficult experiences, and we are inspired by them. But others simply lack the resilience to courageously soldier on after a disappointment. We need to be sensitive to them and to that tendency within ourselves.

A first step is to understand the forces that drive disappointment in our culture. One is consumerism. The marketplace needs us to think we deserve all the toys, perks, and pleasures we can get. People today are accumulating huge personal debts as they try to have it all now, even when they can't afford it.

Another thing that drives disappointment is unrealistic expectations about who we can be and what we can achieve. These are often fed by the media with its emphasis on success stories. Our goals may be imposed upon us by our parents or teachers. When we struggle and still fail, we think there is something wrong with us, when it could be that we just took on too much. We may not have the gifts and talents for a particular choice, or it may not be the best time in our lives. But when we don't get where we think we should be, we hit bottom in disappointment.

Our disappointment may also extend to our friends or co-workers. Perhaps we put our trust in them, and they failed to meet our high standards. Discontent seeps into every pore of our bodies, and we feel like everything is hopeless.

But, here's the good part: Our disappointments can be a starting point for regular spiritual practices. We can, through divine grace and our own diligence and creativity, change the way we live and the choices we make. Here are a few suggestions:

• Ask yourself, what am I disappointed about? Name your disappointments, and then let them go. Do not keep replaying them over and over in your mind. If necessary, forgive someone who has hurt or disappointed you. Also, forgive yourself for being disappointed. Remember, disappointment is a natural response to difficulty. The key is to not let it rule your life.

• Try a mini-ritual to release your disappointment. Find a stone that signifies your disappointment (it can be as large as you want) and throw it in a pond, or river, or ocean. Or, make a list of disappointments on a piece of paper and then burn the paper in a bowl; as you watch the smoke going up, ask God to help you release these particular disappointments.

• Count your blessings and know in your heart that you have more than enough. See your wealth not in terms of outward possessions but in terms of the spiritual intangibles of faith, hope, and love.

• Don't allow your ideas about what should or could happen to determine whether you feel happy or sad. Remember, the future is God's domain. Stay in the present.

For more strategies and daily ways to practice them, sign up for our 21-day e-course Dealing with Disappointment. You'll receive 21 emails (it takes three weeks to break a habit or start a new practice) with a brief quotation on the causes and teachings of disappointment along with simple exercises you can do when one shows up in your life.

http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/practices/features.php?id=18055

Cross Roads, Do Or Do Not

I think there is a good possibility that I've hit a little road block. This might be the cause of my light sleeping pattern or the reason why I'm suddenly wide awake at 3am. There are things that I know for sure and there are things that are in the gray area.


Opportunities come in two different forms. One comes in recognizing the potential of things to come. Either you see it or you don't. The second form of opportunity is created. Created by who? Well, you of course. Or in this case, me.

A variety of opportunities have surfaced in the recent months that could, would, might bring me to a different path in all aspects of life. Sadly, I admit that I haven't exactly grabbed the bull by its horns so to speak. Instead I've take the passive role and did the waiting thing. Or if I did go in for a closer looker, I did it half heartedly. I know you're thinking that's just called playing it safe. For the things you that I truly want, it is possibly to created the opportunity that would lead down that path.

Recently, I've pulled back on somethings that I know if I just sit by and watch on the sidelines it will just coast along its merry way and will eventually circle its way back when I'm ready. Even more recently, I was excited about the Nike Women's Marathon. My name didn't get drawn but I already had a plan B in place. But now, I'm having second thoughts. I want to do this but the plan B I have lined up is going to require some extra work on my part outside of physical training. Now that the excitement has dwindled. Time has passed and I've had time to think about it. I don't really want to put forth the effort for fundraising for a second time this year. So if I ask myself at this moment, do I really want this? The answer would be no, because I know for sure that there is an opportunity for a next time.

I've recently gotten in to the habit of asking myself that question in the different area of life - health, career, finances, relationships. Do I want this? What if the pay off isn't quite what I had in mind or didn't meet my expectation. That reminds me of that popular that saying, "The grass is always greener on the side of the fence". Is it really? It can certainly look like it, but how would you know if you don't jump over and try? Is it possible to keep one foot grounded, while the other leaps? What about a safety net as some type of like a guarantee. lt's these shades of gray have caused me to rethink the things that I've already put in motion or have planned but could be easily erased without a second thought.