Cross Roads, Do Or Do Not

I think there is a good possibility that I've hit a little road block. This might be the cause of my light sleeping pattern or the reason why I'm suddenly wide awake at 3am. There are things that I know for sure and there are things that are in the gray area.


Opportunities come in two different forms. One comes in recognizing the potential of things to come. Either you see it or you don't. The second form of opportunity is created. Created by who? Well, you of course. Or in this case, me.

A variety of opportunities have surfaced in the recent months that could, would, might bring me to a different path in all aspects of life. Sadly, I admit that I haven't exactly grabbed the bull by its horns so to speak. Instead I've take the passive role and did the waiting thing. Or if I did go in for a closer looker, I did it half heartedly. I know you're thinking that's just called playing it safe. For the things you that I truly want, it is possibly to created the opportunity that would lead down that path.

Recently, I've pulled back on somethings that I know if I just sit by and watch on the sidelines it will just coast along its merry way and will eventually circle its way back when I'm ready. Even more recently, I was excited about the Nike Women's Marathon. My name didn't get drawn but I already had a plan B in place. But now, I'm having second thoughts. I want to do this but the plan B I have lined up is going to require some extra work on my part outside of physical training. Now that the excitement has dwindled. Time has passed and I've had time to think about it. I don't really want to put forth the effort for fundraising for a second time this year. So if I ask myself at this moment, do I really want this? The answer would be no, because I know for sure that there is an opportunity for a next time.

I've recently gotten in to the habit of asking myself that question in the different area of life - health, career, finances, relationships. Do I want this? What if the pay off isn't quite what I had in mind or didn't meet my expectation. That reminds me of that popular that saying, "The grass is always greener on the side of the fence". Is it really? It can certainly look like it, but how would you know if you don't jump over and try? Is it possible to keep one foot grounded, while the other leaps? What about a safety net as some type of like a guarantee. lt's these shades of gray have caused me to rethink the things that I've already put in motion or have planned but could be easily erased without a second thought.